{"id":3571,"date":"2016-10-24T21:53:14","date_gmt":"2016-10-24T19:53:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/?p=3571"},"modified":"2018-10-05T14:23:05","modified_gmt":"2018-10-05T12:23:05","slug":"acudits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/6e-1718\/acudits\/","title":{"rendered":"ACUDITS"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>La classe de LA IGUALTAT ens caracteritzem, entre d&#8217;altres coses, pel nostre genial sentit de l&#8217;humor. Ens agrada acomiadar la setmana amb un somriure i per aix\u00f2, tots els divendres a la tarda abans de marxar expliquem un acudit que algun company o companya s&#8217;ha preparat.<\/p>\n<p>Al blog de 5\u00e8 us anirem publicant els acudits que expliquem. Esperem que ens seguiu!!!!!<\/p>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE L&#8217;\u00c1LVARO:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yo tengo un pato que habla, si le pregunto c\u00f3mo te llamas \u00e9l costesta:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>CUAC, CUAC<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Si le digo que vaya a buscar la chaqueta \u00e9l me dice:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>CUA<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a1\u00a1\u00a1Y yo le digo que me traiga la que quiera!!!<\/p>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE LA MARINA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jaimito le pregunta a su madre si puede ir a la piscina y la madre le dice que s\u00ed. Cuando vuelve trae un brazo roto. Jaimito va a la piscina todos los d\u00edas y siempre viene con un hueso roto.Cuando ya los tiene todos rotos le vuelve a preguntar a su madre si puede ir a la piscina, la madre le contesta:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a1Pero si tienes todos los huesos rotos!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Jaimito dice:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a1Es que hoy llenan la piscina, mam\u00e1!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE L&#8217;\u00c0LEX (Dedicat a la directora, amb carinyo)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Va una mare a despertar la seva filla al mat\u00ed i la filla li diu que no vol anar a l&#8217;escola per 3 raons:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>perqu\u00e8 no vull aixecar-me del llit<\/li>\n<li>perqu\u00e8 els profes em tenen mania<\/li>\n<li>perqu\u00e8 els nens i les nenes es riuen de mi<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>La mare li diu que ha d&#8217;anar a l&#8217;escola per 3 raons:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>perqu\u00e8 \u00e9s el teu deure<\/li>\n<li>perqu\u00e8 tens 48 anys<\/li>\n<li>perqu\u00e8 ets la directora de l&#8217;escola!!!!!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE LA MIRELLA (explicat pel seu germ\u00e0 un dia a l&#8217;hora de sopar)<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a1Pap\u00e1, pap\u00e1, deja de untarme la cabeza con queso!<\/li>\n<li>\u00a1Calla, Nacho, calla!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE L&#8217;ANA MART\u00cdN (explicat pel D\u00eddac Vidal, un amic de 6 anys)<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Qu\u00e8 \u00e9s un cotxe sense vidres i sense rodes?<\/li>\n<li>&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0Xatarra!!!!!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT D&#8217;EN LUIS (representat a la classe pel Luis i l&#8217;Ivica)<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Quant creus que una persona pot viure sense cervell?<\/li>\n<li>No ho s\u00e9.<\/li>\n<li>Ja ho s\u00e9&#8230; Quants anys tens tu?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE LA LUC\u00cdA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Quin \u00e9s el s\u00fammum d&#8217;un diccionari?<\/p>\n<p>Quedar-se sense paraules!!!!!!!<\/p>\n<p><strong>UN ALTRE ACUDIT DE LA MARINA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jaimito le dice a su madre:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Mam\u00e1, mam\u00e1 \u00bfel w\u00e1ter da vueltas?<\/li>\n<li>No, hijo, no.<\/li>\n<li>Entonces he hecho &#8220;pop\u00f3&#8221; en la lavadora.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>ACUDIT DE LA SARA<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00bfQu\u00e9 le dice una impresora a otra impresora?<\/li>\n<li>Un papel que dice hola.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>UN ALTRE ACUDIT DE L&#8217;\u00c0LEX<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Quin \u00e9s el s\u00fammum d&#8217;un violinista?<\/li>\n<li>Obrir la porta de casa amb la clau de sol.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>L&#8217;\u00c0LEX I ELS SEUS ACUDITS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A la classe de m\u00fasica la mestra diu:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Vosaltres tocareu la flauta i jo us acompanyar\u00e9 amb l&#8217;instrument que escolliu. Qu\u00e8 voleu que toqui?<\/li>\n<li>EL TIMBRE!!!!!!!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>M\u00c9S DE LA MARINA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00bfQu\u00e9 dice una cereza cuando se mira al espejo?<\/p>\n<p>(&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>\u00a1\u00bfCer\u00e9 eza?!<\/p>\n<p><strong>LA SARA S&#8217;ANIMA M\u00c9S<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00bfSab\u00e9is qu\u00e9 significa <strong>etc<\/strong>?<\/p>\n<p>(&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p><strong>E<\/strong>scribrir <strong>t<\/strong>anto <strong>c<\/strong>ansa<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>I ara uns acudits que ens van regalar algunes de les persones que ens van visitar a l&#8217;escola el dia de les portes obertes. GR\u00c0CIES A TOTHOM!!!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Van dos pel carrer i&#8230; cau el del mig!!!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Un se\u00f1or pregunta a un polic\u00eda:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Sr. polic\u00eda, \u00bfse puede cruzar con roja?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>El polic\u00eda contesta:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>No se\u00f1or, de ninguna manera.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Y el se\u00f1or dice a su amigo:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a1Ya Rojas, b\u00e1jate, contigo no puedo cruzar la calle!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Per qu\u00e8 a un elefant li fa por fer servir l&#8217;ordinador?<\/p>\n<p>(&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>Perqu\u00e8 t\u00e9 un ratol\u00ed!!!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a1\u00a1\u00a1Va un caracol y derrapa!!!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Quantes persones fan falta per posar una bombeta?<\/p>\n<p>5: 4 agafant la taula i donant voltes, i 1 a sobre de la taula agafant la bombeta.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u00bfQu\u00e9 hace un perro con un taladro?<\/p>\n<p>(&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>Ta ladrando.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>IN\u00c9S<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Est\u00e1n los vaqueros mirando a lo lejos y dice uno:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a1Jefe, vienen los indios!<\/li>\n<li>\u00bfSon amigos o enemigos? (dice el jefe)<\/li>\n<li>\u00a1\u00a1\u00a1Deben ser amigos porque vienen todos juntos!!!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>La classe de LA IGUALTAT ens caracteritzem, entre d&#8217;altres coses, pel nostre genial sentit de l&#8217;humor. Ens agrada acomiadar la setmana amb un somriure i per aix\u00f2, tots els divendres a la tarda abans de marxar expliquem un acudit que algun company o companya s&#8217;ha preparat. Al blog de 5\u00e8 us anirem publicant els acudits [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[182],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-182"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3571"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4486,"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3571\/revisions\/4486"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agora.xtec.cat\/ceipmontserrat-castellvi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}